Then, using the computer model, they generated every thought I could possibly have in the next, say ten years, which they then filtered through a probability matrix to determine everything I was going to do in that period. I searched high and low through that kitchen. They love me. I confess Im, in no small part, to blame for all the gossip that has turned my varsity letter scarlet. Hello, Dolly! won Academy Awards for best sound, art direction, and musical score. So what am I doing here, Audrey? Dear Lord Jesus, I do not often speak with You and ask for things, but now I really must insist that You help me win the election tomorrow, because I deserve it and Paul Metzier doesnt, as You well know. This can be no trick. Just thinking he might look at me, my heart starts pounding like mad. It was a joke, Amanda and her jonquils ! The fact is, you hardly know me! Fuck, um well my parents sent me to a boarding school. Tis not your inky brows, your black silk hair, And you dont expect that when you break up with someone do you? Make sure you have everything. I really like you I dont really agree with most of your opinionsbut I dont meet a lot of people who can actually make me think, you know? It was a separate arrangement. I came here because, should things not work out today as I would like them to, I want you to know why I was doing the things I did. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. A widow in her middle years. PUT EM DOWN! Holy shit, theres stock boys bunch of guys I know, even are running down the isle. People used to throw firecrackers on my head in high school. Alison? I know where all the nukes are and I know the codes. So lovely, that country in May. Stuffed in a box like that, I mean youd be in there for ever. I know all that. This is my friend. Okay. Im a genius. Because if you do, your parents will always know the unhappiness you feel for not being able to disappoint them. Jealous. I thought, I dunno, I thought maybe they were so close together they felt like one, or maybe when one was down there, the other was off doing somethin else like I dunno, I just never thought about it. Sign up today to unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. You know what I mean? And I dont want to. Youre probably as yourselves, Isnt he a wierdo, outcast, loose cannon? Maybe. So, O.K., like the Haitians need to come to America but some people are all, What about the sprain on our resources? And its like, when I had this garden party for my fathers birthday and its all catered, you know, I said R.S.V.P. because its a sit down dinner. Regina George: So theyre out there somewhere helping themselves. But who is here? It doesnt help. Not just who we are- jobs or that kind of thing- but it does play into it as well. Philip: No, faith, proud mistress, hope not after it: A monologue will soar if you connect with it! A return from Miss Mortimer again? Course, that means the chances of you getting caught are greater, especially if youre standing in front of the fire, face full of ecstasy and with a gigantic hard on. I thought you were just creative and I thought you were just smarter than me and more sensitive and more interesting. : Synopsis, Characters & Monologues, Jefferson Airplane: History, Members & Songs, Jerry Herman: Biography, Songs & Musicals, Julie Andrews: Biography, Movies, Books & Awards, Leonard Bernstein: Biography, Compositions & Musicals, My Fair Lady: Summary, Characters & Setting, New Orleans Jazz: History, Music & Musicians, Rhythm & Blues: Definition, History, Artists & Songs, Rodgers & Hammerstein: Biography & Musicals, Stephen Sondheim: Biography, Songs & Musicals, The Rolling Stones: Biography, Members & Songs, The Sound of Music: Summary, History & Characters, The Temptations: Biography, Albums & Songs, West Side Story: Summary, Songs, Characters & Composer, What Is Folk Music? Im gonna give you the short version of an incredibly complicated and f up situation, so please be cool. No more drinking, no more getting worked up, no more smoking, apparently Im ignoring that, obviously but. I mean Im fifteen and worried about every little thing, and Ive got this fucking sumo wrestler in a housecoat trailing behind me. The one dark secret that will absolutely be the wedge that keeps us apart. All that being said, Hello, Dolly!, is one of the most famous songs in all of musical theater. I really like you. Writing these movies in my head where Adam and me are the stars. For the next three years, they were allowed to see each other only once a year for two hours. It used to seriously piss me off. Its so embarrassing, I dont even whatever. Its just that for a moment I thought Martin was still with me and I panicked. And Lost my Anonymity Along the Way. How to pick a comedy monologue: You know? She looks at me and says, Are you aware that you only have one testicle? Well, I nearly dropped, or I would have only she was holding me by the and obviously one of them hadnt dropped, or somethin. Another 1 win & 13 nominations. It is a key ingredient to a happy and meaningful life. My grandparents. It is, however, a peculiar type of script and does not have the single most important aspect of acting which is listening/reacting. Now if you dont mind, I have some unfinished business to attend to. All sense. But the problem is.despite every fact I can muster, theres something that still doesnt check out. I had malaria fever all that spring. Its me. "Hello, Dolly! You hate the sound of children playing and you hate all of your living relatives and you hate people who wear sunglasses, even during the day, and you hate going to dinner which you know I love! As youll see from some of the monologues on this list, some are simply just lighter in nature. is a musical filled with charisma and with heart. Thats not a crime, you know. I see no more in you than in the ordinary Hunted. Because at least you dont have the evidence under your sweater. Zelda: In the performance, there are 3 important monologues: Cornelius's 'wonderful things', Dolly's 'Ephram', and Hector's 'foolishness' monologues. SO, I PUT MY HAND IN THERE. Our time together But I think that were very different people. Who should get into the lift with me on floor number seven? I thought we had a really good time together and I was actually in a fairly Up state of mind for once. Stop! So that ruined the mood. Squire, Squire, Hackham, and hold on, Ill go and look. And what did she do? (struggling) Do you remember when you found that picture in my car of you, me and Chet, with Chet cut out of it? I dont do anything to give off any kind of interest whatsoever, I completely look the other way when I see eye contact happening and they STILL come over thinking theyre so suave and its simply repulsive. Ill give you a clue: hes got a fucking hernia. We probably shouldve realized this earlier, but Ive been so happy being near you that I just sorta overlooked it and went on. Hello, Dolly! Looks me up and down. Back to square one. (Just pull the shades first.) Eric. Look, I just need to set the record straight and what better way to broadcast my thoughts then here, on the internet. They met in a donut shop. Who might be your mother, Louis Armstrong's "Hello, Dolly!". Musical Theater and Popular Music: Help and Review, Irving Berlin: Biography, Songs & Musicals, Psychological Research & Experimental Design, All Teacher Certification Test Prep Courses, Opera and Orchestral Music: Help and Review, The Baroque Period in Music: Help and Review, The Classical Period in Music: Help and Review, The Romantic Period in Music: Help and Review, Broadway: Works of Rodgers and Hart, Bernstein & Porter, Cole Porter: Songs, Music & Accomplishments, Rodgers and Hammerstein: Musicals, Songs and Plots, A Little Night Music: Synopsis, Songs & Music, Stephen Sondheim: Lyrical Contributions to Musical Theater, Aida The Musical: Synopsis, Songs & Characters, Andrew Lloyd Webber: Biography, Musicals & Songs, Bluegrass Music: History, Artists, Bands & Songs, Boogie Woogie: Definition, History, Music & Songs, Brill Building: Music, Songwriters & Songs, Cabaret: Definition, Style, Themes & Music, Charlie Christian: Biography & Guitar Method, Composer John Williams: Biography, Music & Movies, Elvis Presley: Biography, Songs, Movies & Death, Fiddler on the Roof: Summary, Characters & Songs, George Gershwin: Biography, Songs & Facts, George M. Cohan: Biography, Music & Songs, Hair the Musical: Synopsis, Songs & Characters, Hard Rock Music: History, Artists & Bands, Hello, Dolly! Theyve showered me with leaflets. I cant just live in this limbo. Then were in the bathroom, and shes putting all her makeup and shit into a bag, and shes telling me that its nothing Ive done, this Eric guy is totally different, they connect on a whole other level. Proud of what hes achieved. StageMilk Team is made up of professional actors and writers from around the world. Bacon and eggs and buttered toast. Guess the news of the engagement came as a bit of a shock, huh? Do you see where Im going with this? Added to which: he was a very pale man, heavy-breather I did wonder briefly if he might actually be Death, come to get me. I mean: not fine fine everythings. 1 May 2023. In the end, everyone ends up together with his or her desired partner. Boom. Like, one of my favourites is that the bus breaks down one day in this remote place and there we are stranded together. Because I know now how weak I am and that Im not really deserving of you, of all you have to offer me. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Our 9x sold out online acting course returns soon. I mean, youd never know you were in a box, would you? Full-Length Musical, Comedy / 5f, 4m Book by Michael Stewart Music and Lyrics by Jerry Herman Based on the play The Matchmaker by Thornton Wilder Original Production Directed and Choreographed by Gower Champion Produced for the Broadway Stage by David Merrick and Champion Five, Inc. My ego had taken a severe battering from her. Hes exactly-the kind of man I always planned on marrying. After I wait for you! And why, I pray you? They just don't make musicals like this any more. I think you are an amazing woman, I honestly do. And if its to do with letting the house then youll have to ring the house-agents, because theyre the agents for the house. Which for some reason I keep calling: vagina. Its stupid, but like Id started imaginin it, what Id be like, walkin around with a little fella holdin me hand, teachin him how to cross the road, or a little girl and holdin her up in the air the way they look down at you, theyre so amazed to be up high. First performed on Broadway in 1964, it enjoyed a nearly 3000 show first run, was awarded 10 Tonys, and has seen numerous revivals both on and off Broadway. Im okay! Backstage is the top resource for acting monologues content and jobs that will help you land your dream opportunity . Im taking care of it. She was a human rights observer sent to interview him. You want to come inside, have some chicken fingers awesome. So how can I be yours? But I do. By the time I reached Year Eight I had fifteen pairs of jeans. What are you ashamed that we did it? The New York Daily News wrote: 'I wouldn't say that Jerry Herman's score is memorable.' I hear how I am censured: they say I will bear myself proudly if I perceive the love come from her. Gain full access to show guides, character breakdowns, auditions, monologues and more! JEFFREY abruptly switches from rage to good humor, adopting a supercilious smile and a patronizing tone. If you are reading a monologue below and feel excited to get up and have a play that is your monologue. You know, I remember what it was like to be eleven. I think. Three people died. And thats it. Horace: Eighty percent of the people in the world are fools and the rest of us are in danger of contamination. So I decided to go to the doctor. (She switches on the rose-coloured lamp.) Other important songs include: Put On Your Sunday Clothes, Ribbons Down My Back and Before the Parade Passes By. Its a wonderful age. Meg bought me this T-shirt at the Warner Brothers store, and its got a picture of Superman on it. Ive got angina. Maybe Ill never walk down the aisle with a smug look of bridal triumph. Its envy, isnt it? Because the fact is we just met yesterday. Im not passionate. nuts! Sue was kind of prude. Not here, not out on the town having such a good time. When it was time for her to leave, he asked if he could look at her face for a while so that he would have something beautiful to remember in the long months ahead. : " I Shall Go Mad! Youd have a chance at least. A nice manly slap on the back. We all work together to contribute useful articles and resources for actors at all stages in their careers. I got you into a Remington Party! Just how big a target do they need, you figure? Since Im being judged by a jury of my peers I will attempt to insert like and totally into my confession as much as possible. Script Call on Dolly If your neighbour needs a new romance Just name the kind of man your sister wants, and she'll snatch him up Don't forget to bring your maiden aunts and she'll match 'em up Call on "Mrs Dolly Levi." Now it's simple, right foot, touch, left foot, touch, under, back, around, touch. Not literally. The talking-talking-talking-Jesus-Christ-wont-he-ever-shut-up titanic self-absorption of the man! And for your information, I adore your father. Now I know this sounds like Im throwing away everything Ive said so far. Well, I didnt mean that in any kind of lascivious way, so I dont know why you want to take it like that. Then, everything about me was entered into a computer where they created a model of my mind. Guys are blind, they really are, OBLIVIOUS to when a girl is not interested. Oh my! Tickets are $28-65. But for any guy hoping that the sizzling details of my sordid past will inspire you to lock the bathroom door and do it to it with your sisters moisturising lotion youll be gravely disappointed. Ive only got one pair of feet. Heres my theory on that. So of course the rugby guys and the rowing guys and the wrestling guys would come in at night and theyd pin me down and get it out of their system the rage. I have for a very long time. I embellished a little. Then its over. Okay So, I love you so much, like to the end of the world and back, butsometimes I love you like I feel sorry for a monkey.